Cleaning Therapy

The last few weeks have been hard. A lot of issues with Jax that have been very hard to deal with. When life gets me down, I'm usually all about retail therapy, because it always makes me feel better. This time, though, was very different. I've learned a new thing about myself, and its when things are really bad, I clean. I mean, clean, and don't stop.

I wiped down the walls, cleaned the hand rails, wiped down the doors. I took everything out of my closet then put it back in. I filed papers that I have not looked at since we moved in. I reorganized the laundry room. Twice. I took all my purses out of the dust bags and reorganized them to bags that fit closest to their size. I vacuumed every inch of the stairs and used resolve to clean out any tiny stain. I vacuum twice a day. As soon as I get home from work, I start cleaning... until I have to go to bed. I mean, its great to have everything perfectly clean, but Andrew probably things its crazy that I am cleaning so much, and the kids probably hate that I make them take every crumb from their breakfast off the place mat, but hey, we all have to deal! I mean, I could be drinking my self into oblivion or something worse, cleaning can't be the worse thing, right?!?!

I guess it comes to this: When my life feels out of control, I feel like cleaning the house is the only thing I have control of.

I keep a running list in my head of the things I need to organize when I get home. I have little projects that I tackle every day. The kitchen cabinets, the fridge, the bookshelves. I look forward to it. I want to take time off from work to refold everything in the linen closet, even though everything is perfectly folded already. Sigh. I'll get through all this- in a very clean house.